Madi came to live with us when she was 3 weeks old. It was love at first sight! She was the first infant we had ever had in our care. Some of you may think this is odd, but other than the fact that I had a baby to love, I was excited because I got to go buy diapers, and baby food. Dealing with infertility, I would go by the baby section in stores and wish that I could be one of the ones buying baby stuff. In fact, I think I bought her baby food LONG before she was even able to eat it. Even today with 4 kids of my own, and having cared for close to 30 foster kids over the years, I still have a weakness for wanting to buy stuff in the baby section of stores. Our new foster baby has 5 different kinds of passies, and she doesn't even like them - lol. OK, back to Madi... we had her for 5 months and fell in LOOOOOOOOOVE with her, then something unforseen happened that broke our hearts, the state thought they had found her birth father. Around the same time we got offered a position as house parents closer to Matt's parents, so we figured, if she was going to leave us anyway, we might as well accept that position and move. The day Madi left us, we cried and grieved, it was horrible. I felt like God had meant for her to be my daughter, and it didn't make sense that she was leaving. Even then Madi was a daddy's girl, and it was especially hard on him. Two months later, we received a phone call that it turned out that the person they thought was her father, was not. They asked us if we were interested in adopting her. I have to say, that was one of the most exciting days in our life! We began making plans, and calling family, it was wonderful. Then we found out that we couldn't work for the children's home, and adopt through them too (same agency) SO... we resigned - which left us both with no job, and no place to live. God provided in amazing ways. Within 2 weeks, we had a place to live, we both had jobs, and we had our house inspection to be able to bring her to us. I am happy to say that we can literally tell Madi, not only did God choose her for us, but we chose her too. Not that we would have ever considered going the other direction, BUT we chose her over our job, our home, our security. And God blessed us for that step of faith - first with our wonderful daughter, and second by showing us how big He is, and how well He can take care of us when we give things over to Him.
There were some hurdles along the way. It took us about 3 months to get her back. There were 3 Fridays in a row that someone from the state called and said "you can go get her today" only to call right back and say "nevermind, something happened and you will have to wait". The first time that happened, we were heartbroken. The second time that happened, we were walking out the door to go get her when we got the call, and I thought "you have GOT to be kidding me!" The third Friday, I was literally sick with emotions going crazy, and sure enough we got the same call, saying still have to wait. That day, we laid on our bed, crying for hours, asking God "why". Why get our hopes up, only to have them squashed time after time. To this day, I don't know the answer to that question - other than... it was a growing experience. God was in control even then. It hurt, it was frustrating, it didn't make sense; but God was the same loving God that day, as he was the day that we picked our daughter up on Thanksgiving day (kinda ironic don't you think - lol). Learning to trust in the hard times is never easy, and for someone as stubborn and inpatient as me - it is really difficult :) BUT God is patient with me, and He continues to love me and bless me. We did bring Madi to our house on Thanksgiving day that year, and her adoption was final the day after my birthday 5 months later.
Madi, I love you with all of my heart! You are my first baby, and you will always hold a special place in my heart. I don't know that I have ever met anyone that is as compassionate as you, nor have I ever met a child that is as concerned about sharing God with others as you. You are such a special, sweet, beautiful young lady! I thank God every day for giving you to daddy and me. Love you, Mommy.
